Posts Tagged ‘karina stephens’

PJ Stephens

Forget growing old gracefully, I think growing old happily is a better goal to aim for and I think I’ve found the secret to how to make that a reality and I learnt it from my dog. 

Ageing gets a bad rap these days. The desire to stay young and maintain our youth is a multibillion dollar industry BUT there is an upside to ageing and it’s the most liberating, freeing feeling imaginable 

As the mother of an ageing dog I can tell you that it isn’t all roses and candy. For one there is the blindness that comes with the onset of cataracts. This means that stairs are no longer something that are easily managed and therefore I, as the mother am required to carry my little bundle of ageing joy up and down them countless times a day. 

Another by-product of blindness is the bumping into everything and when you are only 1 foot high there is a lot to bump into down there. The opening of cupboard doors and low flying shopping bags are definitely danger zones and need to be approached with the appropriate head gear. 

Pools are a definite no, no and one slip of a wayward paw can lead to a life saving rescue of momentous proportions and a nominee for mother of the year award. 

Along with the blindness comes the deafness which leaves you in quite a predicament as to basic commands such as ‘come here’. Firstly he can’t hear me and even if he could, where the hell is here? Add to this a touch of dementia and one minute he is lying by my feet, then he forgets that I am there and does at least three laps of the entire house looking for me, all the while I am yelling out to him that I am here but he can’t hear me, so eventually I have to get up and walk over to him and touch him and bring him back to where I am sitting so that we can repeat the whole thing over again in 10 minutes time. 

To make matters worse there is the chronic coughing that sounds like an emphysema patient nearing the end. This starts before sunup and continues the whole day. I am sure that my dear departed grandmother who suffered from emphysema is somewhere in my little dogs body looking after me because he sure sounds like her. 

Visitors arrive at our home to be greeted by the little coughing white dog. They can usually take this but it’s the gagging at the end of the cough that sounds like a lung has just been extracted and landed on the floor that really puts them off. 

Along with the coughing comes the flatulence that seems to be forced out the other end by the cough, it’s like cough, fart, cough, fart……….and so on! The poor thing keeps looking around at his backside wondering what the noise is that is coming out and then trying to escape the smell that has permeated the air. 

To make matters worse there is the diabetes to contend with. Two insulin injections a day, 12 hours apart has become the norm for our family whilst we monitor his sugar levels and adjust them regularly with expensive trips to the vet, with whom our little man has become a favorite and a long standing paid up member. 

The leaky bladder is not the greatest thing to have to deal with and the spots on the tiles are a giveaway as to where the little guy has walked. And the grumpy moods remind me of my dad as he develops grumpy old age syndrome. 

When I try to tell him off for being naughty I tend to use the pointing, shaking finger as tone alone does not cut it now, although why I shake my finger I don’t know because he can’t see it, but it does make me feel better. In return I get a look of “Give me a break mum, I’m 70 years old for goodness sake, I don’t really give a s#%t”, and therein lies the best thing about ageing. You know longer care what others think. 

You’ve gotten to the point where leaky bladders and forgetfulness are the byproduct of a life well lived and deserving of respect. If others can’t handle it, it’s not your problem. 

So to all the people who say “for goodness sake, just put him down”, I bite my tongue as I know they are not ‘DOG’ people for any dog lover would know that as long as they have a quality of life and are happy they deserve the right to live. 

As his mother, it is my job to keep him comfortable and happy, just as if he were a human child. He has been with me for nearly 15 years. He has loved me and provided me with so many memories and happy times. Put up with my crap and never talked back, sat with me whilst my hearts been breaking and loved me through it all unconditionally. Some people aren’t that loving. 

He still follows me around the house, still gives me cuddles in the morning and greets me like an excited puppy when I come home. He still sits on my lap and lies at my feet and walks with me everyday around the block. Best of all, his still my little mate and he loves me unconditionally. 

The more years we get to live on this earth are years that are gifted to us. The bodily functions may start to retire and we start to slow down but this slowing down process enables us to go deeper into our souls. When we do this what emerges is a spirit far more enriched and beautiful than youth itself. 

So here’s to my little man, you are beautiful and your worth it!!!!
© 2010 Karina Stephens

We have a little joke in my household whereby my husband takes the kids off for a while so that I can get some ‘serenity’. It came about originally from the movie ‘The Castle’ where Michael Caton’s character frequently states the Rhetorical Question, ‘How’s the serenity?’

 I have adopted this little saying ever since and use it when I experience ‘Moments of Bliss’ (MOB). I take my MOB’s very seriously and try to create as many as I can, making a bubble bath with candles and incense and beautiful music, sitting in my spa overlooking our beautiful garden. Reading a book with my dog curled up at my feet. Walking in the bush enjoying the sunshine warming my body from the inside out. So many ways to create MOB’s but unfortunately most of us don’t do it often enough.

 Time or lack of it being the biggest reason, but can I blow this excuse out of the water by saying that you don’t need time to find yourself, you just have to go deeper into the present moment. By this I’m becoming conscious of what you are doing and really becoming aware of your body and your emotions.

 MOB’s are more than taking time out for myself, it’s actually when I am fully present in the NOW moment. Our highest frequency is presence so when we are 100% present, having given up all resistance of the situation then we are fully alive.

 To be able to create that feeling in your everyday life is truly a gift we should all give ourselves. To stop, breath and find ourselves again or reconnect to our soul is what ‘being in the NOW’ is all about yet all too often we make excuses for not practicing it.

 Start with this present moment. Take everything in. Feel, see, smell and hear everything around you. Take note of your body, any tension or pain or restlessness. Breathe deep and feel your lungs expand. How are you feeling emotionally? Happy or sad. What are your energy levels like, Tired or lethargic? It’s important here not to judge anything. Nothing is good or bad, it just is. We are not judging ourselves; we are just bringing attention the ISness of the moment. We are in acceptance of what is and by doing so we have the timeliness of the NOW!

 You have just experienced a moment of Bliss, where just for a moment you invited presence into your life without interpreting it. You were just ‘being’ and that is what ‘being in the NOW’ is all about.

 I now invite you to take in all the ‘serenity moments’ and create more ‘moments of bliss’ in your life.

•  The Power is in the NOW!
•  Discovering your TRUE NORTH
•  Tapping into your Potential
•  Let your mess be your message

 I thrive on the big picture. As long as I have an idea what my future looks like then life as I know it is ok. If the picture fades or becomes distorted in any way, shape or form then so does my perceived sense of certainty. Now, if there happens to be a total black out, then along with my perceived certainty, goes any perceived sense of security I may have held about my life. I say ‘perceived’ because really, can we be certain about anything in the future except maybe death and taxes?

Fortunately, life does not make us fumble around in the darkness for longer than we need to, at some stage the images in our minds eye return to focus and we start to see clearly again where it is we are meant to be headed.

In my book, “Destiny Designer”, I write that “Destiny is about creating a compelling future. Most people give up on life because they can’t see a great future. They lose hope. A compelling future is founded on a positive self worth, empowered in the NOW, grounded in the TRUE value of life and nurtured by the realisation that life is all about what you have to give.”

 The Power is in the NOW!

Our job is to learn to hear the still small voice, the one that whispers that there is an amazing future that awaits you. This is your destiny, filled with blessings far beyond your wildest dreams, and, if you are anything like me you want to know what that is right now, right?

 What I’ve learned is to stop focusing on the future and wanting to know what it holds and to stop living in the past. Instead try and concentrate on ‘WHO’ I am and ‘WHO’ I am becoming. The past has already happened. The future isn’t here yet so all we really have is NOW!

Discovering your TRUE NORTH!

 True North is like your emotional centre. I like to think of it as the path your soul takes when you are in God’s will. When this happens I feel peace, purpose and passion.

 True North contains all your values and beliefs. Your beliefs are what you say to yourself, your values are what motivate you. It’s the ‘WHY’ we do something that becomes the powerful force in achieving a compelling destiny.

 Tapping into your potential!

 I think potential is only potential when the person realises it for themselves. Until then it’s just an untapped, dormant seed of possibility. I’ve found potential in guys who put the toilet seat down. Women are particularly good in seeing potential in the biggest losers.

 Potential becomes reality by equipping yourself with all the right ingredients required. Acknowledging your strengths and realising that your weaknesses are merely areas for development if you so choose to develop them. Persist until it happens and believe in yourself.

 Let your mess be your message!

 The pages of history are filled with stories of people who have overcome obstacles and who have faced enormous challenges and hardships. Through it all they rise up stronger than ever before and go on to help impact the lives of others.

 A life poured out is a life lived well. This means sharing your wisdom and experiences with others so that they can receive an olive branch of empowerment that may help them get through, or prevent them from going through bad experiences.

 Four questions to ask yourself when creating a compelling destiny!