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It’s time to be a big girl now!

How to release your fears and step out of your comfort zone

by Karina Stephens

Last week I ducked bag back to my parent’s home for a quick visit to see the family. I am teaching my 3 year old niece, Bayley and my 7 year old nephew, Tyler the art of ‘doing coffee’ so every time I go back we go out and ‘do coffee’.

This trip Bayley commented on numerous occasions how she was a big girl now and could tie her shoelaces and put on her own clothes and doesn’t need a nap, (although her mum would disagree with that one).

Anyway it got me thinking how when we are young we are so excited to learn new things and step out of our comfort zones and when we do, that makes us a ‘big girl’.

So I think it’s time we all joined the ‘Big Girls Club’, which has nothing to do with dress size and everything to do with overcoming fear.

I had to be a big girl a couple of months back when we were scheduled to fly to Singapore to run a training program. When we reached the counter to check in we were told that my husband, Ian’s passport did not have the required six months left on it to enter the country. Can you imagine how we felt when he couldn’t board the plane? Anyway what happened is another blog but I ended up having to travel to Singapore on my own, get through customs, get on the flight, find the hotel and spend 24 hours in Singapore by myself not knowing if Ian was going to make it or not. I had to be a big girl.

And you know what, it all worked out fine and I actually enjoyed the experience of travelling by myself because I had gotten so used to travelling with Ian that he became my comfort zone. I know that if I am to fulfill my destiny I am going to have to do more of that and now I know that I am quite capable.

So here are 3 tips that can help you be a big girl

1. It’s all about knowing where your comfort zone begins and ends.  It’s that invisible energy field around you like an electric fence. When you reach the border it zaps you to keep you within its confines. The zap of your comfort zone is the uneasiness and tension you feel at the thought of going outside the boundaries. When you know where the boundary is then you can start to stretch the perimeters.

1. Comfort zones are created by us by our own beliefs and values. Change a belief and you change the comfort zone. I once had a belief that I wasn’t smart. This was installed by my third grade teacher who told me just as much and informed me that I would never amount to anything in life. So I believed her and never ever applied myself to school again,

UNTIL…I began learning about beliefs and values and how we can change them to something more empowering. I realized that that limiting belief was stopping me from doing so many things in my life and that I didn’t have to believe her any more.

Since then I have gone on to do so many courses I have lost count. I’ve expanded my comfort zone and this has enabled me to go on and further my education.

Ian and I have just created an audio CD program detailing a step by step process on how you can change any limiting belief, it’s called Neuro-Transformational Strategies and can be obtained from our e-store www.ianstephens.net.au

1. Lose the story and you diffuse the emotion that ignites your comfort zone. Our comfort zone is made up of feelings that we refuse to feel because we fear the perceived pain associated with feeling them. We don’t want to step out of our comfort zone because if we do we may feel fear associated with anger, guilt, sadness, humiliation or rejection.

We need to understand that there are no bad feelings. When we can feel sadness and just let it be sadness without the story of what happened to you in the past that caused you to feel sadness then the feelings dissolve away. The worst thing is not what happened to you but the story you tell yourself.

Part of our Enrich Experience weekend is walking people through the discharge process of emotions and teaching the process or ‘inquiry’ which is to establish the emotion behind the story and feeling the feeling without attachment.

You can find out more at our website www.karinastephens.com/enrich

So there you have it, three strategies to help you push the boundaries of your comfort zone and live the life you were born to live.

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Karina Stephens is an author, business woman, wellness expert, and Life enrichment mentor. Together with her husband Ian, they have created Neuro-Transformational Strategies. The new science of permanent change. To find out more visit her website at: www.karinastephens.com

If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://misspotentiality.com/ .